I had a session with my therapist today. Following our session I was so traumatised (by HER) that I immediately drank a whole bottle of alcohol and contemplated suicide. I have now calmed down somewhat and I am left with the following questions:
Is it normal for a therapist to remind me constantly that she is seeing me at a concessionary rate and that I should be grateful? [I pay £25 per session to my therapist. My total weekly income at present is £18.65. I am only able to live by getting into enormous debt at the bank. I am unable to work because I'm in such a state I can't even leave the house regularly]
How am I supposed to display this gratitude and is it even fair for a therapist to expect me to be bowing and scraping? If she feels resentment should she not simply refuse to offer concessions and refuse to treat paupers like me at all?
Is it normal for her to talk about the fact she used to be broke and she is only wealthy now thanks to her husband and that she is not making much money from being a therapist?
Is it normal for her to share with me the “irony” of her having spent thousands on training and yet “not getting the going rate” from her DID clients?
Is it normal that after a therapy session I should feel suicidal and in a state of despair and unable to eat or stop crying for 12 hours afterwards?
Is it normal to come away from a therapy session feeling I’ve been attacked?
Your posts really concern me. You need to find another therapist ASAP! It is unconsionable that she would be discussing her finances with you, or in any way implying that your financial ability or lack thereof have any correlation to your need for proper care!!! I am outraged for you.
Yes, sometimes I too have a very hard time after a session, but it’s because we’ve pulled back some more layers and I’m left feeling raw or vulnerable. But in that case, it’s part of healing – NOT having more crap piled on by a therapist.
DID is hard enough to start with – it’s VERY hard internal work that never stops just because we’re tired or need a break. You deserve compassion and care = and appropriate therapy.
On my FaceBook page and my blog, I have heard from others in the UK who are having a difficult time finding good therapists who will accept financially challenged patients. I won’t make a blanket statement about healthcare, but I am very saddened that I’ve seen evidence that it affects many.
Please try to keep your spirits up and keep searching for another therapist…there has to be one out there. You have done nothing wrong and don’t deserve to be “abused” by your therapist too. And keep looking for other support too…such as my blog and FaceBook. I’m finding a very strong “virtual” support system which is helping me cope when times seem darkest.
I’d be glad to have you for a friend… Good luck and bless you!! xx
Hi – I just want to say – No. This is not normal. Your instincts are guiding you correctly, as usual. Follow them.
I am paying my therapist a reduced rate, and have done this with many therapists that I have had. None of them have ever brought it up in session after the agreement has been made.
You should not know your therapist’s finances, her feelings about her finances, or the fact that she is wealthy due to her husband. You’re there to fix your shit, not hers. It is time to seek friendlier skies, under which you can heal properly.
Please stop seeing this emotional and verbal abuser. She is unethical. She is scum. Please believe that I don’t say things like this easily or often, but when it is necessary, I say them. No none of this is normal, all of this is signs of abuse. Not one of my past therapists have treated me like that, and most of them were god awful. It is unethical and wrong for a therapist to talk about other clients, about costs, to mistreat clients who are vulnerable and in need of therapy, to verbally abuse them and manipulate them. She is showing a huge lack of boundaries, and abuisve people do not have good boundaries. I’m not saying that you will be all well after stopping to see her, but you will feel better once you can start healing from the pain and anguish she has been inflicting on you. Just from a few things that you have shared I can extrapolate that she has done a lot wrong. I have been there and I can tell you it is possible to find a better therapist, to go on and deal with the pain and abuse you have gone through from it and to work on healing it. On one website recently I read this, no therapy is better than bad therapy. I hope that you can report her to her licensing board, this is wrong, this is unethical. You deserve a therapist who is not abusing you. Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate